


(not) a letter for you

by orphan_account



Series: drabbles [25]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Love Letters, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), Sad, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 09:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20273830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (lance misses a certain boy).





	(not) a letter for you

_ Dear Keith, _

_ I bathed the space mice today. You’d be surprised how much mess four tiny creatures can make, my clothes were soaked and the bathroom was entirely covered in foam and bubbles. It was fun, though, the most fun I’ve had for a long time. _

_ The castle air is as cold as always. And as cliche as it sounds, it’s gotten colder since the day you left. _

_ Yeah. _

_ I try not to think about that, about you facing away from us, never looking back to see if anyone counted your steps (i did, always have been). One two three four… and an infinity more. An infinity taking you away from me. _

_ You’re probably at a cool ninja mission with cool ninja Blade buddies right now, and here I am, sitting in my room that’s never warm enough to take my jacket off, peeling the deepest layers of my soul to you. _

_ Only you. _

_ I wonder if you like the Blade more than us, they seem to be your type, non-touchy and serious and boring. I wouldn’t be surprised if you wouldn’t want to come back here, with us... with me. _

_ Although, I try not to think about that. About you never coming back. It hurts, I’ll admit. It goddamn hurts, turns my blood into poison—cold and spiky and so fucking angry. _

_ I’m so angry, all the time, even in my sleep. And I wish this was the fire type of anger, the one that explodes, the one that screams and shouts and fights. But it’s not, it’s a whisper, and it’s a dying star, a black hole, sinking me, pulling me down, twisting my mind into something so ugly and so alone. _

_ Piloting Red? It’s awful as it is thrilling. Because it’s you and it’s not at the same time. A ghost of you, like a song long finished but its melody still lingering, haunting, destroying— _

_ Do you think of us—of me? _

_ I ask myself this question a lot, try to imagine myself being you, in your shoes, and try to decide if I’d think of a team I spent so much time with, spent fighting by their side, saved their lives, laughed with, argued with, lived with. _

_ If I’d think of a boy, a simple boy who I sat down next to and gazed at the stars with and bickered about meaningless crap with and… _

_ But, the more I pretend to be you, the clearer I realize goodbyes must come as second nature to you. A habit. _

_ I’m right, aren’t I? _

_ You were never the one meant to stay still. _

_ I sometimes wish, with the quiet of midnight screaming around me, with that ugliness fogging my mind completely, that you’re just as miserable as I am. Then, I blink, and I hate myself for ever thinking that because, truthfully, I only want you to smile and laugh, even if it’s not because of me, even if it’s never for me. _

_ It’s not the same without you here, and I hate that. _

_ I hate you, so much. _

_ I hate that you have such an effect on me, have the power to make everything seem blue and dull if you're away, make everything brighter and warm when you’re around. _

_ I hate that the thought of leaving us crossed your mind in the first place, and even more, I hate that you believed whatever stupid voice told you that it was a good idea to join the Blade. _

_ I hate how you managed to capture my soul in your tiny palm, twirl me around your finger like a keychain. I hate that with every shade of red I think about you, I hate that with every silly thought that comes to my mind I wish that you were by my side so I can share. _

_ I hate that you left your jacket here, hanging alone in your room like a dog abandoned by its owner. It’s one more proof that you were here, one more permanent stain you left behind for me to stare at, helplessly, pathetically. _

_ I hate that my heart cries for you, I hate that my hands itch to touch you, I hate, I hate, I hate! _

_ Please, come back, one day, someday, any day. _

_ And please. Please, don’t forget me. _

_ Sincerely… _

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://yourfriendlyneighborsam.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/frendlysam) or [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/friendlyneighborsam/) (i post tiny drabbles on ig)


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